


A Season for Misunderstandings

by halfpastmorrow



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-09
Updated: 2010-01-09
Packaged: 2017-10-06 01:40:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfpastmorrow/pseuds/halfpastmorrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oblivious!Jared is oblivious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Season for Misunderstandings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Missyjack](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Missyjack).



The summer after his split with Sandy it seemed like everything and nothing had changed.

L.A. had been weird, but then when wasn't it. Jared was only there a few days, but he had missed her like a motherfucking limb. He could barely remember what it had been like living in L.A. without her. He had stayed at Jensen's place because he had no place else to go and because Jensen had sent him a package with the keys and a note that said, "Make sure you wipe your boot prints off the coffee table before I get back." He'd had a few appointments to keep regarding the movie and gone to a couple of parties with the usual crowd where no one - not even Chad – had mentioned Sandy's name.

He was glad to get out of there in the end.

Vancouver, by comparison, had been one hundred percent normal. Everyday, he got up at the crack of dawn and ran his dogs along the beach and let them terrorize the seagulls. Then he came home and watched Jensen shuffle into the kitchen, hands in the small of his back rubbing out the kinks, and listened to him grumble about leaving five minutes late during the ride to set. He joked with the girls in make-up and ribbed the prop guys about the Canucks chances in the upcoming season.

Everything was normal, at least, until the moment he found himself sprawled on a deck chair at Tom Welling's eighth annual holy-crap-here-we-are-again party, three sheets to the wind with Jensen straddling his lap. He was clearly more wasted than he had thought but Jensen was apparently in an even worse state. At least, he couldn't think of another reason why Jensen would be licking his nipples.

He watched the wet stripe left in the wake of Jensen's tongue with a vague sense of dissociation, shivering when the breeze caught it. The sequence of events preceding the nipple licking unfolded smoothly enough in his mind when he thought about them, but his brain was unable to properly parse a scenario in which Jensen swung a leg over Jared and slid into his lap. He was forgetting something too. Something to do with Jensen, but he had no idea what.

He groped for Jensen's shoulder and pushed his maddening tongue out of range. "Jensen, I don't think we should…"

Jensen raised his head, a puzzled frown on his face. "Don't tell me you don't want it?"

"No… I… of course, I." Jared struggled for something that resembled coherence - who knew Jensen's tongue on his skin would be so distracting? - and remembered exactly why it was a bad idea. "What about Danneel?"

Jensen rolled his hips lazily and dipped his head. His lips were close enough to Jared's ear that they brushed the lobe when he murmured, "You're stalling. I know you do men. The question is, do you want to do me?"

Jared frowned. "Doesn't Danneel care who you sleep with?"

Jensen rolled his hips against Jared's, in a long slow stroke, and continued on in the same low tone. "Of course she doesn't mind who I sleep with. She's not my girlfriend."

"She's not?"

"No, Jared, I'm gay. Remember? It's not like you didn't get the memo."

"You're… what?"

"I fuck men." Jensen rolled his eyes and sat back on Jared's thighs. "We're going to have to talk about this aren't we? Remember that conversation we had three or four years where you told me all your nasty personal habits and I told you mine?"

"Uh, sure, but I don't…"

"The conversation where you also told me – in the interests of full disclosure – that you fuck men. And the one where I said that I fucked men too. There's a clue there."

"You were dating Krupa at the time, and you didn't tell me you only fucked men. How was I supposed to get the one thing from the other?" Jared frowned and paused. "And you introduced Danneel as your girlfriend."

"Fine," Jensen said, folding his arms. "I'll make sure to use air quotes, next time."

"So wait, Danneel's a beard. I think I hate you. How did you get someone that hot to beard for you?"

Jensen grinned, showing all his teeth. "She's a friend. Besides, if she's a beard, then so am I."

It took a moment for Jared to grasp what was being implied. He took a sharp breath. "Really?"

"Really." Jensen leaned in and put his hands on either side of Jared's head, his smile softening into something slow and predatory. "So Jared, time to get with the program." He nudged their lips together. "I'm single." He kissed him again, firmer. "You're single." And again, with an open mouth and the barest hint of tongue. "I'm willing." He kissed Jared properly this time, until Jared's arms slid down his back and tugged him in closer.

"Willing," Jared breathed, lifting his head to get his mouth on Jensen's neck.

"So how about we take this somewhere nobody can get blackmail material?"

"Oh, hell yes."

*

When Jared surfaced next morning he was naked, sticky, and desperate for a piss. He sat up with a grunt and his legs swung to the floor. The world swam around him and he had to sit on the edge of the bed and wait. When everything had settled, he got up and picked his way across the room to the bathroom.

He took what felt like the world's longest piss. On the way back to bed, he stopped and leaned on the door frame. The room was dim, but he could see a dark lump under covers in the glimmer of streetlight edging around the blinds. He thought he might have done something (stupid) last night.

"You all right?" asked a voice out of the darkness.

He started, a faint tremor running through him. "Jensen?"

"It's me," Jensen said with a sleepy chuckle. "Now, come back to bed, you damn drunk."

He got back into bed, but didn't immediately drop off to sleep like he'd been expecting to. He rolled onto his back and looked at the shadows stretching across the ceiling.

"It's just sex, Jared. Stop worrying about it."

He turned his head and saw that Jensen's eyes were closed. They were still closed a few minutes later when he found Jared's cheek in the dark and patted it.

*

For his birthday, Jensen got him a steak.

Okay, Jared had actually been the one to pick the steak off the menu, but it tasted amazing, or amazing for Canadian steak anyway. He had almost started drooling the moment he smelled it. He didn't know how Jensen had found this place, or what it cost. It was classier than the places they usually went, and he'd had to dig out the formal pants and shirt he hardly ever wore, but for this steak it was worth it.

He shoved another butter-soft piece into his mouth and groaned.

Jensen looked at him across the table, mouth falling open. His cheeks were a little pink and he wasn't paying any attention to the food in front of him. Though, that could be due to do the meal he'd chosen: a whole fish. Having an eyeball staring up you for the entire meal had to be off putting.

"Want some?" Jared cut off another slice and held it out in Jensen's direction.

"Uh, what?" Jensen looked startled and he glanced around nervously.

"You're staring."

Jensen's mouth dropped open briefly at the sound Jared made when he put the piece of steak in his mouth. "Sorry, but could you not do that?"

"Do what?" Jared put another piece in his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut in pleasure.

Jensen swallowed hard. "That."

Jared dropped his hand down to the table, producing a faint chime when the fork hit his plate. "Really?"

Jensen leaned forward and whispered, "You're practically indecent."

Jared shovelled in another piece.

That, of course, meant that he also wound up with a blowjob for his birthday, in the car because Jensen apparently lacked any kind of restraint. If it hadn't been for the steak, the blowjob would definitely have been the better present. As it was it was pretty much a toss up. He didn't have to get dressed up to bury his cock in Jensen's mouth. Better yet Jensen didn't seem to mind when he forgot himself and grabbed his hair or shoved in hard. That's what the choked off moans and the come stain on the bottom of his best pants told him anyway. (Which by the way, though he might not know it, Jensen would be paying to have dry-cleaned.)

On the other hand, that steak.

Jared whimpered thinking about it and Jensen stirred beside him and mumbled, "Again?" and rolled on top of him and cupped Jared's face in his hands and kissed him, slow and sure.

Which meant there was actually no competition in the end because this was the gift that kept on giving.

*

When Jared woke up, it was light outside and he was alone. A glass of water and two Tylenol had been placed on the bedside table. He didn't have much of a hangover, but it was his birthday and if Jensen wanted to fuss he was sure going to take advantage.

The water was cool, a ring of condensation beneath the glass when he picked it up, and soothed his dry throat. Someone – Jensen – had already let the dogs out. He could hear Harley through the partly opened window, answering one of the neighbors' dogs with a rumbling bark of his own.

He showered and shaved to make himself feel more human, then put on his favorite sweatpants and the old much-washed t-shirt that had been conveniently left sitting on the top of the dresser.

It was almost lunch by the time he made his way downstairs. Jensen had coffee and toast ready and waiting, and though coffee wasn't part of Jared's routine because most days caffeine was surplus to requirements, there were exceptions. The scent alone seemed to stir his brain cells, and when the flavor hit his tongue, he blurted, "Oh God, move in and take care of me."

Jensen snorted and swatted him on the back of the head as he passed. "I already have a job, remember?"

Jared spent the rest of the day moving from the couch where he mainlined the latest _One Tree Hill_ episodes, to the deck where Sadie nudged balls into his hand for him to throw in lieu of a walk, to the kitchen where Jensen fed him.

When he went to his room that night, he found that Jensen was already there, propped up against the headboard frowning a script. He had his glasses on and a pen between his teeth, and looked up when he heard Jared enter the room.

"Something you'd like to tell me?" Jared asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jensen being Jensen squirmed a little before recovering his composure and saying, "I'll admit it. I'm totally in lust with your mattress."

"Uh huh, that's what they all say." Jared kneed his way on to the bed, grabbed him by the ankles and yanked him down flat. He crawled up over Jensen and grinned down at him. "So, it's just sex, huh?"

Jensen reached between them, groped Jared's cock and winked. "It's looking that way."

*

Things were good - great even – with Jensen living there, and Jared hadn't expected the rest of this year to be pleasant, but with Jensen it was easy. He wasn't looking forward to him moving out.

A week after his birthday, Jared came up behind Jensen and took him by the shoulders. "You should do it, you know."

"What?" Jensen asked, scrubbing listlessly at a pan with something soggy and disgusting stuck to the bottom.

"Move in and take care of me," he clarified, slinging an arm around Jensen's neck.

"What?" Jensen froze, his shoulders going stiff with tension. "Are you sure that's a good idea, man?"

"It'll be awesome. After work, I'll come home and you can feed me peeled grapes or something."

"Feed you..." Jensen shot him an amused look and started scrubbing the pot again.

"What?" He asked, and spun Jensen around, using the arm around his neck as leverage. "Is it that I'm not good enough for you?"

"Come on, man," Jensen said, as Jared steered him out of the kitchen, sudsy to the elbows and pot still in hand. I'm dripping all over."

Jared ignored him and dragged him into the living room, stopping in front of his massive flat screen. "I'm a moderately wealthy man, I'll have you know."

Jensen choked and tried to look serious.

"It'll be good. I'll even let you have the run of the place when I'm not here," Jared said, gesturing expansively.

"Are you about done?" Jensen asked, when he stopped. He ducked out from under Jared's arm and thrust the pan into his hands. "Because if you're that bored you can always finish the dishes yourself."

Jared stared down at the pan and shuffled his feet. "Or you could forget about the part where you take care of me and just move in."

"What?" Jensen's eyebrows shot skyward. "Seriously, Jared."

"I am being serious."

"You're... Don't you think it's a bit soon? Don't you want your space right now? I mean we only… and you and… earlier this year." Jensen's eyes kept flicking back and forth between the floor and Jared's face as though he were gauging his reaction.

"Too soon." Jared shook his head. "What do you want, a proposal? We're together sixteen hours a day, nine months of the year. I figure if we were going to drive each other crazy, it would have happened by now."

"You don't think this is different?"

"Nah," Jared said, throwing an arm around Jensen's neck again and pulling him in tight. "This is you and me. What could possibly go wrong?"

Jensen gave him a sidelong look, grinning like he'd just been handed a puppy or a part in the new Avengers movie. "Famous last words, Padalecki."

*

Jensen was back in his bed that night and again the night after, which was really... Actually, Jared didn't know what to make of that, but he went with it because, really, after a summer spent getting reacquainted with his right hand, he wasn't going to complain. And their shooting schedules wouldn't gel forever.

Or even as long as a week, as it turned out. Thursday he had a light day and ended up being dropped off home alone while Jensen shot a scene with Jim. He had the place to himself for the first time since Jensen had arrived. It was nice, just him and his babies. He dug out the _Mama Mia_ soundtrack he had hidden away, which Jensen couldn't stand but Sadie loved, cranked the volume up to infinity and danced, which Jensen really couldn't stand, since it always made the dogs go crazy. Then, when he was good and sweaty, he took a shower and hit the sack.

Jensen was there in his bed again the next morning, however, tucked up against his back when he woke. Jared thought that was taking the whole let's be fuck buddies thing too far. "Gotta get you your own bed, buddy," he muttered as he padded into the bathroom.

"Mmmph," Jensen grunted, rolling over into the warm spot.

By the time he got back from walking the dogs, Jensen was in the kitchen, mug of coffee in hand. He was leaning on one elbow, a faint pink pillow-mark on one cheek and his hair smushed up from sleep on the same side, every inch of him screaming "I am not yet awake." But, well, a pre-caffeinated Jensen was easier to deal with. Jared breezed past and stole the mug of coffee.

"Hey!" Jensen gave him a half-hearted glare.

"You snooze you lose," Jared said, taking a sip and wincing at the lack of sugar. "Ugh." He waved the cup in Jensen's direction. "So you and me have a date at Ikea tomorrow."

"Huh?" Jensen said, frowning. "Thought I told you I was going to play golf with Tom."

Jared took another sip, winced again and shoved the mug in Jensen's direction. "Not any more you're not. You need a bed."

"I have a bed," Jensen said, grabbing for the mug and clutching it to his chest. "Yours."

Jared tried to look like he was giving sage advice. "Every man needs a bed of his own. Besides people will think it's weird if you keep sleeping on an air mattress."

"Oh, huh, plausible deniability," Jensen said - whatever that meant - and kicked him under the table. "You know it would be easier if you just said what you mean."

*

Saturday came and they had Clif pick them up and take them to Ikea.

"Not that one," Jensen said for about the hundredth time.

"What's wrong with this one?" Jared asked, annoyed.

Jensen showed him the tag. "Too expensive."

"Skinflint." Jared raised an eyebrow. "But it's your life. You're the princess with the back problem."

"Not anymore," Jensen said, with a smug smile. "Besides, who's the princess: me or the guy who actually spent half his paycheck on his bed."

"Totally not my fault," said Jared cheerfully, moving on to the next row of beds. "The regular ones are too short."

Jensen trailed along behind him. "Excuses, excuses."

Jared paused beside a likely looking candidate. "What about this one?"

"Looks good," Jensen said, flipping the tag.

Jared stared at him aghast. "What, that's it? Aren't you going to try it?"

"I told you. I'm playing golf with Tom this afternoon."

"You can't buy a bed without trying it out, Jensen." Jared stretched out on the bed, putting his feet carefully on the mattress protector at the end, and bounced experimentally.

"Jared," Jensen whined, looking around at a small crowd that was starting to form. Clif looked like he wanted to laugh.

"Jensen," Jared said, back in exactly the same tone. He wrapped a hand around his wrist and tugged.

Jensen shook his head and lay down next to him. "Happy now?"

"Almost," Jared said and bounced again.

*

Jared flew to Hawaii in the middle of the August, which was fabulous. All right, the reason for him being there kind of sucked, but not working was fabulous by definition and not working when Jensen was working was even better. He sent him a postcard every day for the first three days and then to almost everyone else on the set to drive the message home.

The production schedule made it awkward, but Jensen had told him to call while he was away, so he called. The first three times he got voicemail, but the fourth time he got lucky and Jensen picked up.

"'Lo," he said in a raspy voice.

"Sorry, were you sleeping?"

"Yeah, you know, taking a few minutes. Lotta work to do, and somebody's got to do it." He sounded slow and tired.

"I should let you get back to it."

"Nah, I'll just... talk to me." There was a faint rustling noise and a whimper that sounded like Sadie.

"Is that my girl?"

"Uh," Jensen said, and Jared knew from his tone that he not only had them in his trailer but on the couch with him as well. "Maybe."

"It is, you big softy. They'll be completely ruined by the time I get back, won't they? Hey, put her on will you?"

Jensen chuckled, which made Jared grin down the phone line. "And you're calling me soft."

*

Even after they bought the bed, Jensen never really took to sleeping in it. At first, Jared was a little weirded out by that fact but it was kind of comforting to have Jensen in his space right now. In fact, he liked it so much he began to suspect there was something wrong with him.

But there it was. Not to mention the fact that this was Jensen, who didn't care that he had a tendency to snore when he had more than three beers in him, or that he liked to bring the dogs in bed with him on his days off, and who would smack him in the face with a pillow when he farted in bed rather than take offense.

Jared was sure it had more to do with Jensen trying to save money on the bed than anything else.

"You're a cheap, bastard," he said, settling on the bed. He flexed his arms, feeling ill-used after a day spent getting beat up by their latest guest star.

Jensen looked up from the guide and squinted at him. "Way to be random, dude. So we've got replays of the Bills and the Seahawks or the Cowboys and the Browns pick your poison."

Jared thought about that for all of thirty seconds. "Stupid question."

Jensen grinned. "Thought you might say that."

He switched channels and Jared was so beat that he watched in silence for fifteen whole minutes. His lower back began aching. He bunched up the pillows behind him to support it and when that didn't work got up to get a heating pad.

"Can't you sit still for five minutes?" Jensen grumbled.

"I heard that," Jared yelled as he went down the stairs.

On his way back, he stopped in the bathroom for a towel. "Hey," he said, as he squatted in front of the open door to the bathroom cabinet. "What are your girly face creams doing in here?"

"You should talk," Jensen said, his eyes never leaving the screen. "I'm not the one with fruit extracts in my shampoo."

"Yeah, but what are they doing here?"

Jensen rolled his eyes. "It's the bathroom, Jared. That's where people usually keep them."

"Yes, but what are they doing in my bathroom?"

"Oh," Jensen said, and turned back to the television. "It's closer."

*

Shannon raised her eyebrows at Jensen when he entered the make-up trailer. She plucked at his shirt as he slid into the chair in front of her. "What, are you sharing clothes now as well as a house?"

Jensen beamed at her, looking really fucking happy for some reason that Jared couldn't fathom. He fingered the collar. "Nope. This here is Sam's shirt, which judging by Jared's behavior makes it common property. And since that's the case, it stands to reason that I should get to wear it too."

"And that's fair 'cause it's not like you have trouble finding shirts with sleeves long enough that your wrists don't show."

"Yeah, it must really suck to be nine feet tall." Jensen said, in a tone laden with false sincerity, and ducked the hair brush Jared threw at him .

*

Danneel came up to visit at the end of September. For the sake of appearances, Jensen said. Though privately Jared thought it had more to do with a band they both wanted to see.

Jared had thought Jensen might go back to his own room for the duration, but instead he rather gleefully installed Danny in his own bed. Jared dropped a couple of spare towels on the bed and told her that she should blame Jensen if the bed sucked.

He let himself be dragged along to the bar that night because he figured a night out was better than staying at home alone. In truth, the band wasn't too bad, and there was the added amusement of watching Jensen get well and truly hammered.

Jared had one rule when going out with Danny: not to try and match her drink for drink. Her tolerance for alcohol had to be seen to be believed. Plus, he suspected that she cheated outrageously and topped up his drinks whenever he was distracted. Jensen either wasn't aware of this rule or didn't care, so by ten o'clock he was listing heavily against Jared and smothering his laughter in his shoulder.

When Jensen headed for the bathroom for the third time in a half-hour, Jared became aware that Danneel was watching him from across the table, her eyes glittering in the low light. "What?" he asked.

She leaned forward. "I'm happy for you, okay. But don't fuck this up."

He paused with his glass halfway to his mouth. "I don't… We're just living together, Danny."

"My point exactly," she said, spreading her hands out flat on the edge of the table. "He's never done that with anyone else before."

Jared stared at her. "I thought he used to live with Steve."

Danneel looked at him sharply. "That's not the same thing and you know it."

Jared was still confused and would have followed up with another question, but Jensen slid back into the chair next to him and Danneel nodded at him and shook her head.

*

Jensen shoved Jared against the closed door of his trailer and Jared felt his pulse spike. Which was not unusual. These days, Jensen shoving him up against things typically led to sex.

But then he groaned, which was not exactly typical, and pushed himself away. He staggered backward and sank onto the couch. "I can't believe you actually told them I had a crush on you. Are you trying to give my agent heart failure?"

"What? No!"

"Then why would you..."

Jared sat down next to him, slung his legs up over the arm of the chair and tilted his head back to look at him upside down. "Haven't you heard of hiding in plain sight?"

"Please tell me that's not what you were doing?"

"Well..."

"There was no actual thought behind it, was there?" Jensen asked, through a clenched jaw.

Jared shrugged, a bit flummoxed as to why he was so worked up. "Uh, not as such. Sometimes I just open my mouth and out things come."

"I've noticed."

"So do you think they bought it?"

"Bought what?"

Jared grinned. "The whole thing where you're in love with me."

Jensen looked at him for a second, and then threw up his hands and stalked off, banging the trailer door behind him.

*

In October, they went to a bar where there was a party for some guy Jensen knew from his time on Smallville or something. Jared didn't know the guy. He thought he might have met him once or twice at a party of Tom's, but that was about it. He wouldn't even have been here, except Jensen insisted. It was like he thought they were joined at the hip now that they were living together.

But what the heck, it was Friday and he was in a bar and the beer was free. Most people would think that was a pretty sweet deal. He scanned the horde of people crammed into the bar for someone he knew. Not that _that_ mattered either. Jared was of the opinion that there were only two kinds of people at a party: those you had met and those you were about to meet.

He was about to head back to the bar for another beer when he spotted Jensen engaged in what looked like a pretty earnest conversation by the pool tables. The guy seemed familiar. Jared thought he might have seen Jensen talking to him at the wrap party last season shortly before he'd gone home for the night. And he kept touching Jensen: light hands on his back or chest or wrist. It made Jared curious - all right it made him nosy and not a little possessive – but it also made him head in that direction.

"I can't," Jensen was saying, a hesitant smile curling at the edges of his mouth. "I'm seeing someone."

"Who?" the guy asked, and Jared was wondering that as well. Where had Jensen met this guy? He seemed to spend most of his free time with Jared these days. It must be new because Jensen hadn't said anything to him yet. But he looked really happy, and Jared realized as he was standing there watching that Jensen had been more cheerful than usual for a while now and he hadn't noticed. He went up and slung an arm around Jensen's neck, but he must have missed his answer because the next thing he knew the guy's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open and he was saying, "Congratulations," in a weird high voice.

"Hey," Jensen said, smiling up at him. "You're just in time. Jared, this is Todd. Todd, this is Jared."

Jared behaved himself and shook Todd's hand. He didn't squeeze too hard, though he would have liked to. "Nice to meet you."

Later, lying next to Jensen in the dark, he whispered, "So you'll tell me who you're seeing, won't you?"

"Go to sleep, Jared."

*

Jared really hated winter in Vancouver. Somewhere around the end of October it always started raining and didn't let up until just before shooting wrapped for the season. It wasn't as bad this year as it had been a couple of years ago, but between location shoots and time spent running between trailers, it felt like he was perpetually damp. He started inspecting himself for mold and began to wonder if he would ever be dry again.

They escaped the weather once in the middle of the November by going to a convention The convention was in Chicago where it didn't rain, and where Jensen spent the entire time looking like he wanted to jump Jared but never once invaded his personal space.

The main problem with constant rain was that it meant they spent most of their down time hanging around the house. As once dry, neither of them really cared to go out in the rain again.

One evening, Jared finished feeding the dogs and wandered into the living room, beer and laptop in hand. Jensen had already staked out a position on the couch and was watching a program about Grizzlies on the flat screen. He was stretched out length ways on the couch, wearing Jared's sweatpants, only the tips of white socks visible. Not that this was a problem for Jared. He plopped his ass down at the other end and swung his legs up into Jensen's lap. He grinned widely, amused and not a little smug when, without taking his eyes off the television, Jensen grabbed his right foot and dug his thumbs into the underside. Jared slid down a little to settle into it. Jensen was so predictable.

Jared opened his laptop and began checking his email. There was a one-liner from his sister that said, "Jensen's getting his own back, I see." She had included a link to a fan site where there was a translation of a French interview Jensen had given. When he read the translation he almost choked on his beer.

"I can't believe you actually had the balls to say that to a reporter."

"What?" Jensen scrambled for the laptop, one knee hitting Jared high up on his thigh, only inches away from doing serious permanent damage to his prospects of fatherhood.

"Here," he said, cupping his hand protective over his groin and shoving the laptop at Jensen.

Jensen spun it around to face him and then sat down hard on Jared's knees. "They translated it."

"Of course they translated it. We have the most obsessed fan base in the known universe." Jared added a fist pump for emphasis.

"Jesus," Jensen moaned. "Only you would think that was a good thing." The laptop tilted precariously in his grip and Jared took it from him for safety. "What the hell was I thinking?"

"That you were hiding in plain sight?"

"Almost fifteen years I've been doing this without fucking up this spectacularly. You are the worst influence ever."

Jared grinned and thumped his chest in triumph. "That's me, baby."

*

Jared got hit with a cold shortly after getting back from the Chicago convention. He blamed the weather. Jensen blamed diseased fans at the convention. Either way it wasn't a bad one, but it kind of sapped his energy. After a full day of filming, the only thing Jared could think about was his bed. He kept falling asleep in the car on the way home, his head nodding down toward Jensen's shoulder, and Jensen had to shake him to wake him up enough to get inside. Jared wondered if this was how normal people felt at the end of every day.

He went upstairs as usual, but instead of getting changed as usual he only managed to get one arm out of his coat before face planting onto the bed. He wasn't quite sure how long he lay there dozing before Jensen came up to check on him. Unlike earlier in the car, however, Jensen wasn't able to shake him awake.

"Little help might be nice," Jensen said, as he rolled Jared onto his back and tugged off his shoes and jeans. His coat had come off when Jensen rolled him over, but Jensen pulled off his hat and unwound his scarf. He tried to push with his legs as Jensen tried to pull him up toward the head of the bed but he didn't have enough energy. Consequently, his feet were still hanging off the end of the bed when Jensen gave up. He rolled onto his side, curling up into a foetal position and felt Jensen smooth away the sweaty strands of hair stuck to his forehead.

"It must suck to be normal," he mumbled, as Jensen covered him with a blanket.

Jensen laughed softly. "Not something you'll ever have to worry about."

*

Jared considered the fireplace in the living room for a moment. A string of lights, he decided. They would look great strung along the mantelpiece. All right, a string of lights and that awesome statue of Santa and his elves doing the Macarena that Josh gave him the year he moved out to L.A. Anything more would be too much.

"We shouldn't really get a tree, should we? I mean since we're not going to be here and all."

"Have you heard anything I've been saying?" Jared stared at Jensen. It was disturbing, but he had managed to reproduce the exact same kind of tone that his mother used to use when exasperated.

"Uh, something about Christmas, wasn't it? I was thinking about putting up the…"

Jensen put his hands on his hips, which was even more creepy. "I was asking what to get your parents for Christmas."

"Don't know. What did you get them last year?"

"Some wine from that trip Danny and I took. Why?"

"Oh yeah, they totally loved that. You should do that again."

Jensen looked at Jared like he was completely clueless. "I can't do that."

Jared frowned. "Why not?"

"It's different this year."

"Different, how? I mean you moved in with me. You didn't _move in_ with me."

Jensen's face went blank and then, with dawning horror, Jared realized that was exactly what he was thinking. He wanted to snatch the moment back. "Shit. We are so screwed."

"That about sums up the situation, I'd say."

Jared sank down onto the couch. "How… Why… No wonder you never slept in your own bed."

Jensen laughed, but it sounded hollow.

"I'm really…"

"Don't say it, Jared. Just…" Jensen turned his back on Jared, took a couple of steps toward the door and stopped. He stood there shoulders slumped and shuffled his feet, first in one direction and then in the other. He looked like he was trying to find voice for something, but then he straightened and walked out of the room.

*

The next few days were as awkward as anything Jared had ever known. Even the disaster with Alexis was nothing by comparison.

But they got through it because they were professionals. All the same, he couldn't wait for December to come and hiatus to start. It was if anything worse at home. On set, there was always something or someone to distract them. At home, it was just the two of them politely tiptoeing around each other.

Even though it was his house, he started spending a lot of time in his room, not wanting to chase Jensen away. Even there, though, he wasn't free from reminders of him. A remarkable number of Jensen's things had migrated into his room over the preceding three months and Jared couldn't help but wonder at how blind he had been. Jensen's moisturizer was sitting on the bathroom cabinet, one of his favorite t-shirts was slung over the back of the armchair and the book he was reading was still on his side table.

Jared began collecting the stuff together, knowing this was the stuff Jensen would want while he was away. He gathered everything up except the t-shirt and carried it all downstairs.

"I thought you might need these," he said, standing hesitantly in the doorway to Jensen's room.

Jensen was holding a bundle of clothes himself and nodded toward the bed. "Thanks, just dump them there." Jared did as he was told, and Jensen tossed his own armful in an open box and smiled ruefully. "I'm going to leave my stuff here over the break, but I'll get a hotel or something when we come back and get out of your hair."

"Uh, sure, man." Jared wiped his palms on his jeans. "You don't have to go."

Jensen looked him straight in the eyes for the first time that day. "Yes, Jared, I do."

*

Jared had no idea exactly how fucked he was, but he knew one thing for certain. He had nowhere to stay in L.A. He called Chad because that was what he always did when there was no one else to call.

"I thought you were staying with Jensen," Chad said, sounding like a twelve year old girl who smelled a potential BFF break up in the water.

"Not anymore!"

"What did you do?"

"Who says I did anything?"

"Come on, this is your sainted costar we're talking about. He and the massive stick he has up his ass are completely blameless, haven't you heard?"

Jared sighed and massaged his temples. "It was nothing, just a misunderstanding."

"Oh God," Chad said, sounding gleeful. "I've heard that tone before. You fucked him didn't you. It's Alexis all over again."

Jared couldn't help but laugh. Chad might be a complete asshole at times, but at least he was predictable that way. Right now, Jared needed something he could count on.

*

He arrived in L.A. late in the afternoon. Chad picked him up from the airport and, after dumping Jared's bags back at his place, took him straight out to the new bar on Melrose he had been talking about for the last few months. Jared took one look at the pink neon signage and the Paris Hilton wannabes lined up at the bar and proceeded to get well and truly shit-faced.

He thought he remembered Chad patting his back as he heaved over the toilet bowl in the men's room and saying, "I knew this was what you needed." At that point, he figured he was done for the night, so he wasn't really expecting to wake up face first in someone's enormous bosom.

"Oh, hey," she said and poked him, when he stirred. "Would you mind getting off me? I've really got to go.

That got Jared's attention and he rolled away so quickly he got tangled in the sheet and rolled off the bed. The woman lowered her perky platinum blonde head over the edge of the bed.

Jared thought it was something of a metaphor for the way his life was going that Chad managed to pick the exact moment that he was lying there flat on his back - naked, dazed, eyes still crusted with sleep and nothing protecting his dignity but the sheet wrapped around one ankle - to walk in the room.

*

He spent the rest of the fortnight in L.A. avoiding situations where he was alone with Chad or just anywhere near Chad at all.

It wasn't that hard. He did a couple of photo shoots and took meetings with his agent to discuss projects for the coming summer and with the publicist for _Friday the 13th_ to set up the events for the release early in the new year. He went to the opening of an exhibition for a photographer friend of Genevieve's and did his Christmas shopping.

He found the perfect gift for his sister in a tiny bookshop in Glendale, a first edition of _Little Women_ to go with her newly minted degree in literature. He left the shop and stood out there on the sidewalk with the carefully wrapped book and a swelling sensation in his chest and tried to work out who he could call to share the news.

His mood took a dive when he realized that his choices at the moment were limited to Chad, his mother and Chad. And he knew his mother would prefer to be surprised on the actual day along with his everyone else. It was something of a neat trick, he thought as he turned and picked his way down the street avoiding the other shoppers, to manage to fuck up two of your most significant relationships inside of a year.

*

Jared arrived home early on Christmas Eve and picked up a rental at the airport. It seemed strange that he still considered it home when he had been away so long, but he was beginning to suspect that wherever he lived, San Antonio would always be home.

Home was subject to the usual pre-Christmas mania with his mother madly baking, his father cutting the grass as he did every year – despite admonitions that it was pointless as the grass didn't grow in winter – and everyone else busy with their wrapping paper and secrets.

Jared knew better than to get underfoot. He put his presents under the tree, toying with a lopsided pine cone snowman he had made when he was eight, took the rest of his bags up to his room and then went outside on the porch to watch his father work.

He tucked his chin inside his jacket, prepared to sit for a while, but he wasn't out there long before Megan came to join him. "Jeez, you're in a mood today," she said, stepping on his toes. " What crawled up your ass and died?"

Jared scowled and shifted his foot away. "Nothing. I'm just figuring a few things out."

"Well, that explains why you look so constipated. You'll want to be careful about that or Mama will be after you with the Brussels sprouts."

Jared glared at her. "Meg, don't take offense, but go away. Now."

"Yeah, not so much. The point of little sisters is that they never just go away. You might as well just tell me what's wrong."

Jared sighed.

"Is it that bad?" Megan asked, sitting down beside him.

"I think I might have fucked up big time."

"With Jensen."

"What makes you say that?"

Megan grinned. "Oh, I don't know. For the past few months whenever I called or emailed, you were all Jensen, Jensen, Jensen and then for the last month nothing. And you stayed at Chad's when you were in L.A., which you never do because he always tries to make you pick up hookers. It's kind of a dead giveaway."

"You don't know that. Jensen might have been away or busy."

Megan raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh. What did you do?"

Jared thought about the fact that he'd actually been living with Jensen for three months for all intents and purposes, even if he was too stupid to realize it. More importantly, he thought about the fact that he had been happy living with Jensen, when he'd expected to be miserable, and that he was instead miserable now. "There was something Jensen wanted and I didn't. Only now I realize that I did want it, I just didn't know I wanted it."

Megan rolled her eyes and sighed. "Well, that makes about as much sense as usual."

"I'm…" He dug the heel of his hand into his forehead, where he could feel a headache starting.

"Jared, just go see him," Megan said.

"I'm pretty sure he hates me."

Megan bumped him with her shoulder. "I'm pretty sure he doesn't."

Jared smiled at her. "How sure is pretty sure?"

"Just go see him, dumbass."

Jared got up and fished the keys out his pocket. "You'll tell Mom?"

"Yeah. Just come back happy - she was worried about you. And don't wear that hat," she said, snatching it off his head. "It makes you look like a giant dork."

"You look like a giant dork," he said, flipping her off as he bounded down the stairs.

*

He arrived at the Ackles' house just as the streetlights were blinking on. No one was on the street and the whole neighborhood was hushed and expectant.

Jensen's mother answered the door to his knock. "Jared," she said and hugged him. "We weren't expecting you, were we?"

Jared shuffled his feet. "No, ma'am."

"Not to worry. Come on in. Everybody is in the living room." She stepped back to let him pass her and he saw Jensen at the other end of the hall.

He was standing with his feet splayed slightly apart and his hands curled into fists. "Jared, what are you doing here?"

Jensen's mother looked from one to the other. Finally she said, "Jensen, you didn't tell me you boys were fighting."

"We're not," Jensen said.

"Then I don't understand why…"

Jensen stepped forward and took Jared by the elbow. "Mom, I'm sorry, but I just need to speak to Jared alone for a few minutes."

"All right, then," she said and hugged Jared again. "Come and see me before you leave."

Jared nodded and let Jensen pull him through a door that led off the hall. Jensen closed the door behind them and switched on the lights. Jared looked around the room for something to do, turning his back on Jensen. It was an old-fashioned sitting room, with sturdy dark wood furniture, a mass of china figurines and fussy napkin things on the back of the chairs.

"Jared, what are you doing here?" Jensen asked again, drawing hiss attention back to him.

Jared turned around. He looked down at his hands and then up at Jensen. "The thing is, you know I'm an idiot, right?"

The corners of Jensen's mouth curled up and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I'm the guy who totally misread the signals and thought his buddy wanted him to move in with him, so you're in good company here."

Jared gave him a small sheepish smile. "The thing is, I was happy living with you. I didn't know it at the time, but I was. Me 'n Sandy tried living together during the writer's strike last year – really living together - and it was hard. With you it was easy."

Jensen went kind of still and closed his eyes. "I know you think you want it, but it's been a shitty year. I don't think you know what you want."

"You're wrong." He itched to touch Jensen, but Jensen was still holding himself so distant. "And I wouldn't mess you around if I wasn't sure. It was good, wasn't it?"

Jensen opened his eyes, searching his face. "It won't always be easy."

Jared knew a capitulation when he heard one. "I know," he said, and closed in. He caught Jensen's hand and leaned in and kissed him. And it was easy, easy.

"What will you tell your mother?" he asked, when they parted.

Jensen laced their fingers together. "Somehow, I doubt I'll have to tell her anything."


End file.
